Thursday, February 21, 2013

Jack Proves He's a Hard Ass

Stopped last night on a sandbar near Blue Hole Lake so Attaway could "stretch his legs". Attaway has a thing about going "number 2" on the boat if he can help it. The guy spent way too many years in the bush with my grandfather and a hole in the ground suits him better than the porcelain honda. Go figure. Well, it's weird little quirks like this in life that get us into hot water. You're not gonna find trouble unless you go looking for it (mostly) and well, Attaway found it last night. 
Two-Headed, Tiny Thorned Tortoise

I guess, he'd found "just the right spot" (picky bastard that he is) and he scooped himself out a landlubber's latrine to lay some cable in. Well wasn't he surprised about what popped out of that hole when he lowered his afterdeck down to lose some ballast: A Two-Headed, Tiny Thorned Tortoise! Damned if he didn't sit right down on all four of those sharp little horns too. Yowch. The horns actually have a bit of venom on their tips but Jack is a tough old bird and he forgave the little mutant. He pulled the sucker up, finished his business and came back on board with our new specimen.

In addition to the two heads, the thing had some other "stuff" going on with it. It was looking pretty sickly and it was sticking it's tongues out like an Orange-Tounged, Tufted Min-O-Spinner. I figure his mom and daddy must have hung around the nuclear plant downriver near St. Francisville and got "romantic" in some of the runoff. Oh well, two heads are better than one, right? I guess so in this instance...just one wouldn't have stopped a Hard-Ass like Attaway. Saved the little guy from a different type of toxic waste.

Anyway, we'll put him in a holding tank until we're back near the rest of the collection in a few months and he'll probably find a home in the McFinn's Museum someday.

Oh yeah, cookie decided to celebrate and made us some of his famous JalapeƱo Turtle Bread. Here he is, cracking his old joke.."Look! I'm a one-eyed Turtle!". Salty old dog.

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